Seeker

  • Home
  • About Us

Category Archives: Uncategorized

120 – Time flying!

I have really been falling apart. Overwhelmed and too much on my plate. Everyone seems to be out to get me. I have a bad temper at work these days because I am so stressed. I leave work thinking of how much I owe and never have time for myself. What’s worse is I see Ryan growing so quickly and I want to be there with him, but I also miss the wild adventures I can have elsewhere. It’s killing me!

So Cherise has been much calmer of late. I have been writing prescriptions of Valium for her to chill her out. She mixes it with a little weed and it makes her incredibly horny. I have swung down to see her on several occasions in the past 2 months. Of course, she has no income, so I am supporting her completely. Then there is Shana, who has been dancing at a new club. She has really been working out lately with incredible results! Sex has never been better with her. Angela has been more clingy of late, demanding me to sleep over with her every free moment. Ryan, of course, doesn’t sleep through the night yet, so I am exhausted when I leave there. He is growing so quickly though!. Then there is everybody else.

I have been selling more of my prescriptions to make ends meet. I have been very nervous about the whole thing, but it’s been my only salvation. I also found better ways of scoring more medications in the department by doing the medication reconciliations for my patients and snagging their prescription pills straight from the bottle. I have been using some of those pills myself. They seem to mellow me out a bit when the alcohol does not.

Anyway, I barely see my house.

This week, I have a couple of days to spend at the beach with Cherise. This has been the one time I have been excited of recent. Right now I am paying some overdue bills and collection threats. My credit score is in the pits!

So to catch up with it all, I drove down to see Cherise and then off to the beach. I told Angela I was doing some away shifts so she wouldn’t get on my case. It turned out that Cherise had her very-close friend (girlfriend) join us. Karen was her name. She was definitely a nice girl and friendly, and very open to all sorts of fun after a few drinks! We all slept snuggly together in on King-sized bed at the beach….

Karen and Cherise made  a great pair at the beach

Karen and Cherise made a great pair at the beach

-T.C.

 

119 – Demanding people

I’ve been a little busy and stressed lately as you can imagine. I’ve been hustling for extra money since everything is costing me an arm and a leg it seems. So Angela and Ryan are getting along fine, but her medical bills have been astronomical, and I have been paying for all of them. I write Angela a check and she pays them out. It’s been close to $2000 so far. She had no insurance, it turns out. Ryan, likewise has had his share of problems. I love feeding him and watching his snail-like lips suck on the see-through pacifier. I love poking him softly in his little buddha-belly and watching him look at me in amazement, stopping his feeding on the spot, only to resume them a moment later when nothing else happens. He has required a special, super-expensive formula for his reflux problems. That only adds insult to injury.

So tomorrow I am heading to  see Cherise. I missed going there last week because Angela had a bleeding episode and had to go the the hospital. While she was there, I had a quick meal with Shana at a nearby restaurant – a quaint little French spot. Angela had been given some strong pain medications and was knocked out. Her tests were going to take several hours, so I decided to take a chance and ask Shana out since she lived relatively nearby. I told Shana that I had been called into work and had only a short time to spend. It was hard to keep my hands off her when I saw her, I wanted to take her out back and rip her clothes off… I was so horny. It seems like I had a ton of women but get less and less sex! Because I wasn’t spending the night with her, Shana told me that she wasn’t going to have sex with me tonight – I really just wanted a blow job or a quickie in the car! It was so painful to walk away from all that beauty!

303373_3975924605767_955621571_n 1011_10205699403299931_6385867222710867954_n

So, I snuck away from Angela to see Shana, who snubbed me in my moment of need! I blew $100 on the meal also! I got back in time for Angela to be discharged though. Not a moment too soon!

I had to work the next day after losing sleep feeding Ryan, who changed from a quiet, cute baby, to some sort of crying, pooping machine, getting up every 2 hours for one reason or another! I had red, bleary eyes when I arrived at work, my whole body was buzzing with exhaustion. Ashley was working a shift today, so I was able to sneak briefly up to a call room with her and blow off some frustration. She made me pull out when I came, which ended up soaking my scrub top and hers with my ‘pride and joy.’ I merely wiped it up afterwards while we both laughed it off. It wasn’t so funny when I did a Wood’s lamp examination and my cum visibly showed up on my scrub top a few patients later! (The fluorescent light  from the Wood’s lamp highlights semen stains – we use the lamp to look at eye injuries.) Luckily the patient had their glasses off, but my shirt was rubbing against her face as I leaned over her. Poor girl…if she only knew! She was actually quite cute…

I had a short temper today as the shift went on, but one patinent in particular really got to me. The patient had become a regular visitor, but she never gave a real name or identification. For the Emergency Department, no identification is ever needed, and she never gave one. She was pregnant, and had been seen before for pregnancy related issues. She knew we had no Obstetrical services and as soon as she saw me, she demanded that I transfer her immediately without an examination. She was rude and obnoxious and unthankful. Thank God for free care – if that was even care. Patients can demand an immediate transfer and get it too. It turns out she walked off the ambulance when it got tho the next hospital. She just wanted a ride to get to her friend’s house which was near the other facility. That was a $1000 cost to the system and taxpayer!

 

-T.C.

118 – Whiners

So it’s another 3 A.M morning rush in the Emergency Department. The parents of a 7 month old bring their child in for a fever that it’s had for four days. They have seen us twice and their primary doctor earlier today, and no one can tell them why the child has a fever.Of course the parents didn’t give any fever medicine in the past 6 hours, so of course the child woke up and vomited. Of course none of the physicians before me started any antibiotics. That’s really what the parents wanted. Yes, I know I should have some antibiotic stewardship and not randomly start antibiotics without a treatable source. The child didn’t have an ear infection or a cough or infected urine test, but the child looks great after some motrin given by us. I just want the parents to go away. The child has a virus and will get better eventually with or without our help. At least they vaccinated the child, so it makes meningitis and more obscure diseases less likely. My solution, as the fifth opinion on this child in three days, is to call the diagnosis an ear infection even if I don’t see one and give a shot of antibiotics. It’s like therapeutic acupuncture, and for some reason, it makes the parents think I care and have validated their worries over their child. I also prescribed antibiotics as well for home to give the parents something to do. In fact, I always diagnose ear infections in children even if they don’t have one because inevitably the child will return again to me or someone else within a day or two with a continued fever and the parents will be angry that no ‘medicine’ was started. Who cares about antibiotic resistance anyway? With the AIDS epidemic, antibiotics have been prophylactically used for years! Likewise, it seems that most of our patients have MRSA warnings of resistant-bacteria colonization on them. Patient that have had a prior wound, blood, or urine cultures from prior visits to the hospital with positive results for resistant bacteria will end up with a label of MRSA or some other resistant bacteria on their chart so as to warn everyone to take ‘precautions.’ Of course, many of these patients have multiple visits to the hospital and yet have no ‘real’ medical diagnosis, but during all these visits, they acquire resistant bacteria. They may have a cough, or sore throat, or ankle sprain, or whatever , but every ailment and boo-boo must be prayed, cultured, or cat scanned. If an ailment is minimized by the doctor and a cat scan or blood test isn’t done, then clearly the medical provider is ‘non-caring’ in the eyes of the patient. Satisfaction surveys will be poor for the poor bastard, who then looses his job. Therefore I do blood work, cat scans, initiate antibiotics, and prescribe pain medications with impunity so I can spare my job and not make my ‘clients’ (patients) angry. No complaints at the end of the day is what I want. I don’t want to be sitting in front of an administrator who slaps my wrist because ‘I made a patient mad.’

My next patient came in because she had muscle aches for three weeks and had started a cholesterol medicine a month ago. Of course it is 4 A.M. and she was from another state, visiting friends, so she says. I was forced to do blood work on her to validate her ‘muscle aches.’ In reality, I could have just told her to stop the medicine and go home, but she wanted Percocet, because her pain was a ’30 out of 10′. I hate the fucking pain scale. Everyone always states their pain is more than a 10/10, so I decided to use a clock for a pain scale. If you have more than a 12 pain, then the scale rolls over to a one! IN this particular case, the lady wanted a script for pain pills. She, of course, was allergic to aspirin, motrin, ultram, and anything without Percocet in it.

The night slowly degenerated with burnt out alcoholics coming in by ambulance to be seen for falls, ‘suicidal threats’, or intoxication in public. It just can’t get any better. I don’t fix anyone, I just do damage control, and I get it. I get a pay check. My one lucky break was an intoxicated bastard who left his Perocet out on the gurney. I snagged it to sell to one of my ‘patients.’

I got to see Ashley again in the radiology department so I could decompress myself. We emerged sweaty and panting from the empty changing room after a twenty minute session. It was so awesome to have a ‘quickie’. Ashley wanted one too. Clara mentioned that Ashley was frustrated with Zack, with whom she was spending most nights with. Apparently he was not in relationship mode, but rather was using Ashley for sex….how cruel. She did have an awesome, smooth body. I loved seeing her in knee-chest mode!!!

Nothing beats the smooth warm nakedness of a glowing radiology girl in a changing room!

Nothing beats the smooth warm nakedness of a glowing radiology girl in a changing room!

-T.C.

117 – Radiology sweet

I have another shift to get through. I have so much on my mind also, which, for some reason, won’t ever shut down. I toss and turn with the little sleep I get, and then I’m exhausted when I need to be awake. I have money problems still, and I have too many women in my life. I never meant for them all to stick with me, but none of them will go away! The less  I pay attention to them, the more they hang on to me!

Melanie was awesome yesterday. Great, wild sex. She is very experimental, which is probably how she got her ‘disease.’ I still can’t believe that either. She wants me to join in a threesome  or even foursome. She says it would be fun, and I believe her. I might just have to.

In the meantime, I hurt my tooth from grinding it while I was sleeping. I guess it’s from the Ritalin. At least now I can focus a bit at work. When I got to work, Ashley was running the radiology department for the night. We casually grabbed each other’s hand as we walked by each other in the hall, smiling about something to come this evening… Her soft hand reached out to mine as a patient dragged behind her. I think I need a pelvic X-ray tonight.

Later, I noticed one bedraggled patient rambling out of a cubicle with a urine cup filled with bright, yellow urine. It isn’t his cubicle, but he had somehow wandered into it and left with someone’s urine. I sat back and observed the situation. It turns out he had an accident at work and needed a clean urinalysis, so he went into an elderly patient’s room, assuming that they probably had no drugs in their system, and took their random urine sample. When I think about it, there are urine cups scattered all over the department. You can find half-filled specimens behind sinks, under the beds, sitting at nursing stations, and pretty much everywhere. I will keep that in mind the next time I order a drug test on someone who I know has drugs in their system and discover their test in negative. They may have just grabbed someone else’s urine. The ole’ ‘water in the urine cup’ trick is too easy to catch!

Most of the patients on the board were foreigners – most spoke some insanely remote language. Spanish was easier for me since  I could communicate relatively well in that language. As for most of my patients at this late evening hour, there were a lot of pregnant, vaginal bleeders and heavy-set women with sudden-onset lower abdominal pain. Being a weekend night, the most common pelvic complaint from young women was due to ovarian cysts. All that sex going on out there, and within the hour afterwards, all those women had their cysts popped during sex. It’s almost like hearing someone walking on bubble wrap out in the community: ‘pop’ ‘pop’ ‘pop’ as all the young, generally fat girls get poked by their guy and then get acute lower abdominal pain from their cysts rupturing. It is so predictable. The same thing occurs with the early pregnant girls. They have sex and then start to bleed. Did the baby get speared and killed during sex? It’s almost a routine and of course they all need a sono to chicken the baby.. Of course, later in the evening, after this bunch of complaints comes in, the next wave of pelvic problems shows up: bartholin cysts. Large boils on the vaginal lips that result from shaving or too much friction from sex or being fat! I hate having to cut those things open. All sex related it seems.

Some of my charts look the same. The later in the shift it is, the more similar the problems become. The patients are getting so fat and visit so frequently, it is getting harder and harder to get intravenous access! Rolling veins, sclerosed veins from prior access, or just too much fat leads to a battle for every drop of blood…especially at our weakest moments of exhaustion! So this is how I categorize some of my early morning (3 A.M.) patients. Everything becomes a crisis because they haven’t slept all night. They all are on some antidepressant and anti anxiety agent, like clonazepam (Valium) and have multiple psychiatric diagnosis, such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, suicidal ideation, or Bipolar. They frequently visit the Emergency Department when there are minimal resources, meanwhile they have vague complaints like chest pain, dizziness, or numbness. Being less than their mid-30’s usually lessens the medical possibilities, but being overweight (i.e. 350lbs or more) makes anything a possibility. Because they are so fat, the women all have irregular and painful periods with histories of ovarian cysts and fibroids. Many will put down endometriosis as well, even without a clear diagnosis. Dilaudid is always on the menu for pain control, because everyone has incredibly theatrical allergies to Toradol (an anti-inflammatory pain reliever similar to motrin) or Ultram, which is a non-narcotic pain reliever. Others will put codeine as an allergy because they find Tylenol#3 doesn’t work and just place it as an allergy so we won’t use it. In the end, to avoid arguments and a hassle, I give them what they want and however much they ask for! At the end of the day, they get their fifth cat scan of the year for the same problem and end up with a work note and a prescription of Percocet of the pain. I get a great review on the surveys because I am their hero because I ‘took them seriously’ by using ‘serious’ pain medicine!

After I cleared everything up, I ran to radiology to see Ashley. I tugged her ponytail as I snuck up behind her, wrapping my arm around her breasts, which felt incredibly firm from all her exercising. She turned her head and gave me a very sweet kiss and then proceeded to grab my hand and take me into the radiology changing room, where we proceeded to undress each other and do naughty things…I don’t want to be too graphic, but Ashley is so amazingly tight!

Later in the shift, I overheard one of the nurses, Clara, a friend of Ahsley, mentioning that Ashley had been trying to rekindle a relationship with her ex-radiologist boyfriend. Clara was bragging how she had covered for Ashley and the radiologist (Zack) so they could have sex in a call room. Clara described, in painful detail, that Ashley and Zack let her watch the whole thing just for the thrill. Clara, being a bit earthy in appearance, loved the intrigue and sat to watch them get it on. It dawned on me that I got the left-overs tonight! 🙁 I guess I can’t complain, seeing how I haven’t really paid Ashley attention like I should, but I am going to shower when I get a chance tonight. I obviously have Zack on me.

Ashley is irresistible - I wish I could focus on one woman!

Ashley is irresistible – I wish I could focus on one woman!

-T.C.

116 – Extra cash for extra fun

This weekend, I am going to head down to see Cherise. She has been a bit agitated lately because I have been ignoring her. I called her and chatted for an hour on the phone with her, which I thought would appease her, but apparently not. I am exhausted, and was able to get only three hours of sleep because Melanie wanted to meet up for lunch. I popped a Ritalin to get me moving, but I met with ‘Mr. Contact’ on my way over to give him a bottle of Dilaudid 4 mg tablets that I had snatched from a DOA (dead on arrival) patient who had multiple medication vials in a bag under the bed. It’s been an easy task to collect mediations from the older folk in the department. No one seems to care or monitor it, except Phillip, who seems to be following me incessantly as I work.

I collected $500 for the bottle and was on my way. I could at least pay the mortgage, give Angela some money for Ryan and her rent, and send some extra money down to Cherise. Meanwhile, I needed to purchase some Truvada because I didn’t want to contract HIV from Melanie. Truvada decreases transmission rates of HIV, and since I wasn’t using a condom with her, I wanted to at least do something. It was hard for me to resist Melanie’s powerful persuasive powers….it’s like a tractor beam for my cock…beam see up Scottie!

Melanie had been drinking early this morning, so she was a bit wild when I showed up. I was starting to get the buzz from the Ritalin, which by the way, I snagged as well from a younger mental patient one of my colleagues evaluated in the Emergency Department. I was always amazed by the assortment of pills some of the ‘mental’ are on: Haldol for the psychosis, amphetamines to wake them up from the MSContin they use for chronic pain, which makes them anxious so they need clonazepam (a valium-like medicine), which in turn make them sleepy and so they need the amphetamine to stay awake. Mix that with the marijuana and sometimes alcohol and cocaine, it almost becomes a drug buffet!

When I got to Melanie’s place, I imbibed in Mimosa’s that she was having. I love those things! I had a buzz in no time. Next thing I found was Melanie was wrapping her thighs around my waist and going places that no man had gone before….She was going geographic on me!

Where's the mimosas?

Where’s the mimosas?

I'll fight you for the rum!

I’ll fight you for the rum!

I can't wait to dive into that body! Let's go savage!

I can’t wait to dive into that body! Let’s go savage!

-T.C.

115 – Business as usual

I have to work again today after three hours of sleep. Ryan kept crying for some reason. I guess the beast is starting to come out of those tiny lips! Angela crashed hard, so I actually got up and fed Ryan. I feel like I’m going to break him everytime I hold him, but then I remember how I have to deal with children at work, especially when I stitch them up. I love watching those see-through pacifiers as his lips suck on it. It almost looks like a snail on a glass aquarium! I’m beginning to like the little guy.

After a late afternoon lunch with Angela, I ran to my parent’s house. My mom was feeling a bit ill, so I went to check on her. I wrote her a script for an antibiotic for her bronchitis. She was rattling with every cough. Meanwhile, I fielded a few texts from Melanie and Shana. They both wanted a visit, but I decided on Shana, because I was feeling frisky and Shana could get real crazy under the covers!

Shana is waiting!

Shana is waiting!

I felt bad leaving my mom so quickly, but time was short today, and Shana was waiting, and I only had a few hours to spend before my shift. Before  I could go for my visit, I had to stop at home to get my clothes and basic ‘stuff’ for work. I kept my car loaded with changes of clothing, toiletries, and other apparel because I was always on the run. I practically lived in the car. My house had cobwebs growing on the front door for lack of use! I actually hate being at home because it reminds me of Sarah all the time.

I read my mail on the way to see Shana – bill after bill it seems was in my overflowing mailbox. Late fees, threatening letters, and collection agencies were all piling on me. I had some cash after my exchanges at the Emergency Department, but that wasn’t enough. I am stressed, and I took it all out on Shana in bed today!

Sat down for a quickie and a quick meal with Shana

Sat down for a quickie and a quick meal with Shana

As for work tonight, it was business as usual. I had a few more clients come in for pain medicine refills. I needed that cash really bad. My contact was excellent about sending me business. I made an extra thousand as a result of that. I also managed to grab another bottle of Percocet from an oncology patient in the department. I was able to reach in and grab the bottle after he went for a cat scan and his belongings were left behind. In fact, I even pilfered his gold chain. I had no qualms about it – I was desperate for money. As for Phillip, who was here again tonight,  I made certain the nurses kept him busy. He somehow keeps lurking in the shadows. At some point I need to solve this problem, and I know he’s watching me.

As for my patient load tonight – it was all about bad teeth- Literally. All the methamphetamine out there had destroyed half of the city’s teeth. I can’t imagine having ground-down, black, pointy nubs for teeth! I would never smile again, but these patient come in all the time and have horrible teeth with stank for breath…I don’t know how their partners can stand it, unless they too are on drugs! One patient was being seen for a tooth ache at 3 A.M., her eyes were half-closed because her Methadone kept her in a perpetual zombie-like state. I swear that the zombie apocalypse is here – all these drugged-out people live their lives day-to-day, remembering nothing except when the next time for their pain medication will be! Bad teeth – what an easy way to score pain medication!

One last thing for my shift….I can’t stand the way Phillip is following me around. As I went to the doctor’s room, he was standing at the hallway’s edge, staring me down as if to say, “I know what you did.” Maybe I’m just being self-conscious.

 

-T.C.

114 – Eyes on me

I was a bit nervous on my next shift. Phillip was working again and it seemed that everywhere I went, Phillip was there, watching me. We actually never acknowledged each others presence at any time. In fact, he and I used to talk every time we saw each other at work, but now the cats out of the bag and we say nothing to each other. What was Phillip going to do next about what he saw? Probably nothing. He didn’t see me hand off the pill bottle after work to Mr. Contact (as I call him) . I was supposed to write another prescription for oxycontin 30’s for a guy named Will Slazel today. He was a regular visitor at the department, usually for back pain, but today, he was my ‘customer’ – a mere $500 was paid out in the room for the bottle of 100 pills. Very cheap relative to the street price. My heart pounded as we proceeded with the transaction. I kept looking at the door to see if it would slam open….in fact moments after I gave the prescription to Will, Phillip walked in, pretending to be re-stocking the room. That was close. I quickly left after that, annoyed at my new shadow.

I called Angela to see how Ryan was doing later in the shift. Ryan had been sleeping wonderfully and so far he has been an easy baby. I count my few blessings. The night went up and down otherwise. I had one mother sign her 6 year old son in at 2 A.M because he said he had ‘heart’ pain. Really? Like there are thousands of 6 year olds having heart attacks, and by the way, why is he up at 2 A.M? It was just a bit of gas that he had, but I had to do the old ‘EKG and chest Xray routine’ to appease the mother so she wouldn’t complain that I demeaned his complaint. The mother weighed about 300 pounds herself and looked like she was having the heart attack! The whole time I was interviewing them, I could have sworn she was videoing me on her phone, because she held it up at me as I spoke and examined her ‘critically ill’ son. Earlier I had another child that had been pushed on the playground into her sibling. The child that had been pushed had a split lip that needed nothing to be done other than some cleaning. The mother mentioned the other child had hit her head, but there was no obvious injury and she wasn’t the patient. I even examined the other child without her being an official patient and said everything was fine, but that wasn’t enough. After I finished with the first cild, the mother promptly checked in the second child to get me to officially ‘see’ the child. Of course nothing was wrong and I sent them both home with a ‘pat on the back’. Nowadays everyone is worried about having a ‘concussion.’ It’s trendy I guess. No matter how small the injury, it’s a concussion. I sneezed – I have a concussion!

I was glad to finish my shift. I drove over to Angela’s to see her and Ryan. Angela has started to slim down a bit after delivering the other week. She is looking sexy again. We decided to be bad this morning and ‘do it’ a bit earlier than we were supposed to since we were supposed to wait 6 weeks after the delivery. As a result, Angela bled a bit, but it had been a long time it seemed, and it was definitely fun!

The way I feel about my patient's at work sometimes

The way I feel about my patient’s at work sometimes!

Can't wait until Angela gets her old body back!

Can’t wait until Angela gets her old body back!

-T.C.

113 – spotted

I was so exhausted tonight at work. The Valium had hung me over, and even my coffee wasn’t enough – six cups! I stopped by my parents to say hello before I started my shift. My mom had made a huge meal for Dad and a few cousins who had dropped over for a bit. I grabbed a few bites, but ran out quickly when mom began mentioning how ragged I looked and asking if I was ever going to marry Sarah. How little they knew about me these days. They were grandparents once again now and didn’t even know it!

So my evening at work was hectic as always. I started behind the eight-ball immediately. No cases were simple. No one had ‘just a sore throat,’ but rather everyone has a ‘sore throat’ and chest pain. Everyone has checked out google for their medical answers and each demands a work up based on their search. I just provide excellent ‘customer’ care and do whatever it takes to shut them up. It’s just a sore throat, but the patients demand a cat scan of their chest because they are certain it’s a blood clot! No sweat off my back – why piss them off? It’s the taxpayer’s money. I just give them the radiation to prove to them they are fine, and in the process, the hospital makes a lot of money off Medicaid and other Obama Care insurance. Meanwhile, I keep my job because everyone is happy. It’s all about those scripted patient satisfaction scores. I’m not seen as a good doctor or caring if I don’t tank ’em up with enough Dilaudid and get that CT scan done for good measure. Why should I care about the radiation risk? They don’t seem to care even after ten scans in the past year.

As for further annoyance, I got a call from a mother I saw several days ago at 3 A.M. Her child had a sudden fever, so she said, and came running into the E.D. Of course it was nothing but a positive influenza situation. When the mother asked me ‘How did he get that?’ I quickly scoffed that you need to get vaccinated to prevent disease. What a mystery! Anyway, I did prescribe Tamiflu for the illness, and the child did look perfectly fine. The mother hadn’t even given any Tylenol or Motrin to help with the fever at that time. Anyway, tonight, she calls to tell me that the pharmacy wouldn’t fill her prescription due to some insurance concern and asked me to call it in elsewhere. So here it is four days later, and she calls in the late evening about a medication for her ‘sick child’ that should have been started four days ago. As if she was wondering why the illness wan’t getting better? Clearly it was a crisis to come running in at 3 A.M. , but it was inconvenient for her to see the pharmacist that morning to get the prescription filled. So once again, late at night, she calls me to change the  pharmacy of the medicine. She must sleep all day so her day starts at 10 P.M. as do her kids, whom I could hear running around in the background. Must be nice to get everything for free! I was even angrier when I called the new pharmacy to only find it was closed already!

I was a bit irritable about all the bad decisions that go into peoples’s decision-making when I went in to see an elderly cancer patient. Her name was Ms. Bethel. She was hard of hearing but very kind. She was in the department because of some chest pain tonight, so I did my evaluation and noticed her medicine bag under the bed. I rifled through it when I feigned to be examining her medication list in front of the computer. Ms. Bethel was somewhat inattentive anyway, so I hardly thought she would notice when I scooped out her bottle of Dilaudid pills. She didn’t notice, but one of the technicians, Phillip, was staring me down as I walked out of the room and placed the bottle in my pocket. Was he going to tattle on me? My friendly contact had sent a new person for me to call on to sell some pills to, and I definitely needed the money. In spite of Phillip watching me, I ran to the back room and stashed the bottle, holding a few pills on the side for Cherise, who asked me for some pain pills.

8669_1783011321986915_533420196739716833_n

-T.C.

112 – Back to new reality

It was so sad to see Farah leave. She was en route to Miami to meet up with relatives coming from Europe, but she decided to stop in to see me. When we awakened the next afternoon, having slept for 14 hours, we both realized how fleeting our interlude had been. Farah’s eye teared up as we had sex one last time. I was surprised she had become so attached to me, but I am certain it was just her age that was making her so clingy. I hope she doesn’t go psycho on me!

Next thing I knew, I was on my way to Angela’s. She had taken a cab home with Ryan earlier today because she didn’t want to wait for me. She was a bit irritated with me when I came in and quickly voiced her opinion that I should have taken some time off for her. I actually was off, but I couldn’t say a word. I had to recant the hospital name I started talking to her about when I explained how busy I had been, especially since I hadn’t called her in the past day! She quickly caught on and asked me about the exact place I had worked at yesterday. Of course, I quickly recognized I had misspoke and apologized to her about telling her I had made a mistake about which hospital I had just been at. “Liars never remember their stories,” was what Angela responded to me after I finished my explanation. I looked at her in a puzzled manner to which she then told me she had tried to call me at the place I said I was working at. In fact she had tried several of my hospitals I work at. No one had seen me. I stared at her dumbfounded that she would try to hunt me down, and now I was caught in a lie. To that, I stood my ground. ” I was at Memorial Regional Hospital, just like I said. The person who answered the phone clearly didn’t know what they were talking about.” I don’t think that answer satisfied Angela, but what else was she going to do?

Ryan was so cute, all snuggled in his blue cap and crib. His nose flared steadily with each breath and his eyes twitched as he slept comfortably. Angela looked exhausted, laying on the couch, eyes half open. I sat next to her and tried to rub her back, but she arched away from me. I decided to take control of the situation and just walk out. I quickly looked back as I shut the door and could see a surprised look on Angela’s tearful face….

An hour later, I sat at my home, all alone listening to the creaking of my ceiling as the wind howled by. All alone. I could feel Sarah’s presence in the house to this day. So many months and not a word from her. I miss her. My heart began to race as I realized how my life had been changing, and now I have a child. I want to do the right thing and take care of Ryan and Angela, but what if I made the wrong choice? I didn’t want Sarah to leave me forever. I began to sweat as my heart raced faster and faster. I began to panic, pacing the house without relief. I couldn’t stand it. What next? I was about to call my friend, Tom, but I knew he would just tell me what I didn’t want to hear about my life….that it’s fucked up. Instead, I ran to my Valium. I didn’t have to work until late tonight. Down the hatch it went. Peace here I come.

12038442_1932054090352072_8322126672671387701_n

 

-T.C.

111 – Under pressure

I woke up next to Farah, pretending that I had no other cares in the world. I tried to pretend that there was no one else I was involved with, no stress, no worries. It felt really good. It was just the alcohol in my system that was blunting my mind of all my other worries. Angela is in the hospital with Ryan, Shana has been texting me wildly, Cherise texted me to call,  and Ashley even wanted me to swing by. To add to that, Melanie seems to be a bit clingy for attention and finally Sandra, with whom I had some ‘interaction’ was calling on me. Some sixty text messages, voicemails, and various erotic selfies all blew up my phones. Of course I had two separate phones to keep calls and texts separate, being careful to keep my stories straight, but it is getting more and more complex! I keep forgetting what I told to whom, and I have already gotten busted a few times to various degrees. I am short of money again, so I texted my ‘contact’ about whether he needed any more prescriptions. Of course that went well. I would be writing for some Roxicodone 30’s for $2000 to a man named Rick. I was stressed about the whole affair and popped an Ativan I had stolen from one of my elderly patient’s bottles in the Emergency Department. I have to be careful with the stuff because my parents seemed to notice I was a bit loopy the other day at the family dinner gathering. How they all miss Sarah they all say, but I did bring Melanie over to the house since they all knew her well as Sarah’s sister. Little did they know of Melanie and myself. Melanie never speaks of Sarah. What a tangled mess.

I laid next to Farah, who was sound asleep. We had an extraordinary ‘session’ again after we got in. Today will be another full day of fun and excitement with her, but I have to break away briefly to defuse everyone else in my life,especially Shana and Melanie, who seem to be a bit, as I said earlier, clingy. I did so shortly after getting up, my body buzzing with exhaustion and three hours of sleep, along with debasing substances inside me (Vodka, Ativan, and Weed – which Farah loves).

It took me an hour to call and talk to everyone in the morning, all of whom had endless things to say. I promised everyone something and yet nothing, saying ‘yes’ to getting together shortly. They all heard what they ‘wanted’ to hear. I don’t have enough time! Once all was done, I glided back to Farah. We had a great day together, cruising around town and visiting some great eateries. For tonight, we hit an awesome concert, that we mixed with a little ‘E’ and THC to enhance the sound. Life couldn’t be better!

My way to Farah's heart

My way to Farah’s heart

12240_946222398740647_5673626142617735123_n

Farah's summer bod

Farah’s summer body

1510347_1981328992091248_1206835401265253547_n

Great food today!

Great food today!

A wild night at the concert - with the help of E and THC!

A wild night at the concert – with the help of E and THC!

 

-T.C.

Next Page »

Pages

  • About Us

Archives

  • July 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015

Categories

  • Uncategorized (120)

WordPress

  • Log in
  • WordPress

Subscribe

  • Entries (RSS)
  • Comments (RSS)