So what do I say? What do I do? My life flashed in front of my eyes – literally. Me? A father? ‘What about Sarah?’ is the first thing that came to my mind. I still loved her, and this was supposed to be what I had with her, not with Angela. Angela was beautiful and fun, but for some reason, I didn’t quite make the connection with her for a long-term thing. I wanted to explore, and I did. I have so many friends that seem to jump from bed to bed, so why can’t I do that without getting in a situation like this?
I stared at Angela, who started to cry. Then we slowly leaned in towards each other, and I reached around her and gave her a tight hug. Even my eyes were full of tears. What is next?
“What do we do?” Was her first question. Was there an option? Abortion? Adoption? Or maybe she could just have the child and I could be the part-time daddy if Angela and I don’t work out? No commitment then -This last idea struck me well. This way I would be a father and somehow have a connection to Angela, but not necessarily be committed to her. None of this makes sense. I just don’t want a commitment yet. “We’ll figure this out together over time,” I tried to soothe Angela.
Interesting, the next thing I knew, we were in her bedroom, having sex – but this time, I was filled with rage. Even though I was in physical ecstasy as I pressed her smooth, pink feet on my chest and pierced her, I started pounding her harder and harder, hoping to somehow spear the baby. Her knees slammed against her chest each time, but she seemed to get more and more into it with each powerful stroke. For those moments, I felt calm, but my anxieties exploded several hours later when I awakened next to a naked, pregnant Angela on the bed next to me. I stared at her perfect, sculpted body with her firm, rounded breasts laying squarely on her chest, and I knew exactly how I ended up here, but that didn’t help calm me down about what was going to happen with the pregnancy. The funny thing is that I see this happen all the time in the Emergency Department among young couples who barely have a combined double digit I.Q and not even two coins to rub together, but yet they seem to make it…sort of. Angela is about three months along and a lot could happen. Maybe she will miscarry..or maybe that only happens when people are trying to have the child? My answer, I think, is just to sit back and let things unfold. Whatever happens, happens…